11
Jun
2018

Is Underground, Amatuer, Co-ed, Bareknuckle Boxing for Real?

Posted by Howie Phelt-Ersnatz

Earlier this week, police responded to what can only be described as the most bizarre of calls.

 

What started as a call to emergency services about a possible domestic abuse call, upon arrival at the Shady Lane Mobile home community in Lonetree, officers discovered an even more disturbing sight.

 

Forget the Boxing Day ring, the Octagon or the cage, this new sport can happen anywhere! In the living room, the kitchen, or our personal favorite, the bedroom. Underground, amateur, co-ed, bareknuckle boxing! 

 

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Waterton Lakes National Park, Alberta, Canada

A local bear native to the Rocky Mountains that lives near Waterton Lakes National Park in Alberta Canada is not having a good day when he was detained, arrested and fined for fishing in an area that does not allow fishing of any kind and he doesn't have a fishing license to do so according to the local park authorities there.

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06
Jun
2018

Is There No End to Millennial Innovation?

Posted by Howie Phelt-Ersnatz

The American Psychological Association announced today that the recent election of President Donald “The Cheeto” Trump has caused a spike in emotional trauma related Dissociative Identity Disorder.

 

The most common sign of someone afflicted with DID include symptoms such as extremely erratic mood swings, engaging in atypical behavior, and most obvious of all, a solo selfie with a “thankful for us” banner.

 

Please reach out to those afflicted and help them find the help that they so desperately need in these troubling times.

 

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06
Jun
2018

Recent Wave of Militant Feminism Linked to one Douchebag!

Posted by Howie Phelt-Ersnatz

According to a statement recently released by Wanda Paternia, Director of Inclusion at the Denver University Center for Wommon’s studies,  a majority of middle aged inductees over the last couple of years all have one thing in common. 

 

Juan Cisterci. (Pictured)

 

#douchecanoe is the latest anti-man campaign, mostly targeted at this one guy.

 

“We all have basically the same story. He charmed our pants off, then ghosted” said one new feminazi, who asked to remain anonymous on the off chance he remembers her number.

 

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03
Jun
2018

Trumps pull out game is strong

Posted by Anonymous (not verified)

It seems Trumps pull out game is a strong one. Today it is reported that President Trump has pulled out of talks with North Korea.

 

“We will not deal with a bunch of commi whiners”, Trump said. Kim has responded with a new age type of evolved land-crawling nuclear submarines. At this time the people of Coon Rapids and surrounding areas take cover. We will post updates as they are available.

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01
Jun
2018

Butte's Berkeley Pit Potable

Posted by Bob Sayther
Jackson Storm drinks from the Berkeley Pit
Berkeley Pit visitor Booth

The Berkeley Pit in Butte, MT has been notoriously poisonous for over 30 years now. Coming in at a half mile long, 1800' deep, the pit is filled with 900' of highly acidic, poisonous water. Just last year, it consumed a flock of Canadian geese that landed on their trek back home. The pH level of the water is roughly the same as lemon juice, and can consume an aluminum boat in just under two hours.

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30
May
2018

ABC drops Roseanna, picked up by FOX!

Posted by Anonymous (not verified)

Im sure everyone’s heard that ABC dropped the hit TV show after Roseanna Barr sends out and Ambien induced Tweet. Maybe Left wing nuts went crazy over the “racist” Tweet but Fox has a better idea, they will now show the reruns and 2nd season that was in the works before Season 1 was even finished. 

In a phone call to Fox we  got to talk to Pam Handy who said “Its kind of like the saying ‘One mans trash is someone’s Gold’. We’re super excited to bring in the cash flow and have the support and money from the NAACP, who helped us get Roseanna and everyone to sign the contract”

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