14
Jan
2018

Trump was “Dilly Dillied”

Posted by Stanley Weiss

President Trump is in the process of suing a lady for what he’s saying was sexual harassment. Trump said the “Oink” was grabbing his wax art and he feels threatend and is also starting the hashtag #itneedstostop. 

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14
Jan
2018

Josh Allen to Denver

Posted by Stanley Weiss

Former Wyoming QB Josh Allen has agreed to a $75,000/2 year deal to play for the Denver Broncos. John Elway said in a phone interview “We’re super excited to have Allen on the roster.  He’s going to bring us millions of dollars being he’s from Wyoming and all the fans will come watch”

Who’s going to change teams and watch the Browns play in Denver? 

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13
Jan
2018

Voice of Football Broadcast Dies

Posted by Gregory M. Marcotte

Keith Jackson has died at the age of 89 years old. He was known for having a way with words and is famous for using the phrase, "Whoa Nellie" in many football games. Jackson is also recognized as perhaps the father of college football broadcast. Keith Jackson spent a long illustrious career in which he broadcast, in addition to football, boxing, basketball, car racing, and others. Unfortunately because of his death, he will not be able to broadcast Sunday Night NFL games next season. His smooth, easily recognized voice, will be missed by many. RIP Keith Jackson. 

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12
Jan
2018

New Wild Dog Species Discovered In South America By Loggers

Posted by Peter Christofferson

A new species of wild dog was discovered inside a tree during a logging operation in a logging operation deep in the jungle of South America. Penzal Diack was falling the highly sought after Hard Caulk Wood Tree used for making bowling pins, when he cut the tree in half he heard a deep growl within the hollows of the tree, when Penzal shined his flashlight into the tree, a beast with large teeth, Grey skin and splotches of hair leaped towards him, Penzal was able to dodge the attack and quickly shut the job down.

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A letter left by a 27 year old woman from Miami Florida to her husband has been devastating people across the internet. Gene Kale says he noticed the letter after he woke from a nap and she was already gone and this is what the letter said, “Gene, you were sleeping when I wrote this, I couldn’t bare to see the look of pain on your face when I told you the news earlier and I can’t bare to see it again....I love you but unfortunately, I still don’t know what to eat. I have went to the grocery store, hope I beat this.”- Avery Wo Mansnmerica

 

bone chilling 

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09
Jan
2018

Missing Dwarf Man By South Pass

Posted by Peter Christofferson

A dwarfed male has gone missing in South Pass and is suspected to be nude judging by the tracks found in the snow (scene photo shows tracks discovered) by his vehicle. With the snow being four inches he is at greater risk of being buried alive in the snow, search parties have been sent out to look for him in a search radius of 200ft by 300ft but like sheriff Louis Big stated, "the small radius might sound easy, but it's like finding agrain of pepper in a bag of sugar.". We will update you on any progress in the search. 

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08
Jan
2018

Flatuexcellence Air And Sound Freshner

Posted by Peter Christofferson

Local aerosol company, "liquid nugz" is expanding its fragrance line to freshen the air and sound in your home, office or cabin. It comes with the first of its kind technologically advanced can that has an attached speaker, in return  this can not only releases the essence of an air biscuit, butt it also catches the sound, which plays every time you press the nozzle. The frapgrances come in a variety of scents and sound such as, liquid panic, oops, old door and dry leather. 

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08
Jan
2018

Oprah Begins Process Of Buying Presidency

Posted by Peter Christofferson

As everyone in Hollywood and the Democratic party already knew, Oprah has started purchasing her way into the 2020 presidency buy purchasing votes and seats in the future house with help from the Clinton foundation. They have already began working on her campaign and her victory rally in the capital of Georgia where many Hollywood elite have already purchased their VIP seat along with their guaranteed vote. She is promising a quick and easy campaign with scripted debates and many humble photo ops with sick people and the world elite upper class. Are you voting for Oprah next election?

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