16
Jan
2018

Man Outraged By Trump Turns Street Into Shit Hole

Posted by Peter Christofferson

Harry Gashe of Evansville decided to turn the street in front of his house into a literal, “Shit Hole” after watching the news break about Trumps supposed remarks towards other countries. Harry was spotted in his front yard at 2:00p.m. Grabbing his feces from his own butthole and Throwing his own feces into the street screaming, “You want to see a shit hole!?!, here’s a shit hole from my shithole!!”. When police arrived he was covered from head to toe in his own nutty delight, nude doing cartwheels.

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15
Jan
2018

Touched By An Angel Reruns Pulled From Television

Posted by Peter Christofferson

The popular tv show Touched By An Angel is being ripped from the air waves after Antifa said that the title implies being inappropriately touched by angels and promotes rape culture. Stores and online sources are pulling all copies and dvds from their shelves due to this latest movement on preventing rape culture from being a thing. No networks have reached out in fear of retaliation for saying the wrong thing and offending someone.

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15
Jan
2018

Tide Cookie

Posted by Stanley Weiss

Oreo is welcoming a new cookie that will be hitting shelves in a reservation near you. “We plan on stocking the shelves in higher traffic areas with meth use”

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15
Jan
2018

Me Too Movement Causing Female Wage Gap

Posted by Peter Christofferson

The recent Me Too movement and endless sexual harassment claims have created a negative impact for this positive movement. The latest sexual harassment and wage equality fad that has hit the world is now starting to take notice of the negative results of such a huge movement and those results are not good. Since the feminist, antimen and me too movement has begun, woman in the workplace numbers have dropped 27% due to businesses being afraid of a lawsuit, wages have also dropped by 10% due to the same reason.

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15
Jan
2018

Forget Guaging and Facial Tattoos! The Newest Trend Is Here!

Posted by Howie Phelt-Ersnatz

The latest body modification trend sweeping the nation applauded by world renowned sex therapist; Dr Ruth Westheimen.

 

Dr Ruth, pictured, has been a vocal advocate for allowing girls as young as 18 to rush to their local tattoo shops, planned parenthood clinic or mosque and have the female circumcision performed. Only then can they finally have access to the health and sexual pleasure benefits American and Semitic boys around the globe have enjoyed since Abraham became the father of two peoples.

 

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15
Jan
2018

Trump being attacked

Posted by Stanley Weiss

President Trump is in the spot like again after a Big named rap artist Meek Mill painted a picture of him covering Trumps mouth in an attempted “death” plot. Trump said he’s upped Security and banned all of Mills garbage music to be pulled off the airwaves. #itneedstostop

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15
Jan
2018

GRAND OPENING!

Posted by Howie Phelt-Ersnatz

*Advertisement

 

ACME APPLIANCE GRAND OPENING SALE!!!

 

Acme Appliance, America’s leader in industrial home appliances and surplus Navy anchors is pleased to announce the opening of it’s newest location in downtown Kit Carson Colorado!

 

Come down and see our large selection of ranges, refrigerators and dishwasher dressing!

 

Buy your appliances as a set and save!  Be sure to check out our line of white and off white ranges and refrigerators that match all of our dishwashers!

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14
Jan
2018

Sinclair Implementing Their Own Green Card

Posted by Gregory M. Marcotte

Sinclair has noted an increasing age in their workforce and fear that there is going to be a knowledge gap coming soon as their more senior employees begin retiring. This problem would typically be resolved by high potential younger employees filling their shoes behind them, but there is an issue that has arisen with the millenial workforce coming in. A high percentage of millenials feel entitled to jump right into leadership roles just because they graduated from a local college with a bachelor degree in philosophy.

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