With the Super Bowl fast approaching, fans are anxiously waiting to see who the participants will be. We will all find out Sunday, but first much discussion has come up about what is wrong with Tom Brady's hand. Apparently, the hand was somehow injured prior to the AFC championship game this week during practice. Casper Planet has received information from a credible source that Tom Brady's hand is actually not injured at all. He has been sitting out practice and wearing gloves to keep the moisture from the lotion in so that his hands remain soft and not dried out.
Sources are telling us that getting the flu shot will KILL you and it’s true. DONT GIVE YOUR KIDS POISON!!
The new Presidential candy is not M&Ms or Jelly beans, nope, it’s a Yuge pack of bubble gum that comes in a flavor called snowflake mint which triggered one city in California, A city by the name of San Diego. The city was named after Saint Diago from Germany, when translated to English, it spells, whales vagina. This gum is only available to visitors to the White House but do to its high demand, 1,000 units will be auctioned to the public. They plan to announce the auction date on Tuesday.
Hipster couple, Anita Bathe and Cody Pendant are the first people to come forward and claim to be, “Cleangans”, you may be asking yourself, what is a cleangan? Let us tell you. A cleangan is someone who lives offf of cleaning detergent, they have the beliefs that since it can clean your clothes, it can clean your soles. The couple says they enjoy the more natural flavors such as lavender and sea breeze but when they are feeling edgy the will drop some original.
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The President gave out his awards yesterday for fake news and Casper Planet places third in the running’s against the most professional fake news companies there is. We are honored and look forward to topping that list next year! Thank you everyone for helping us get here.
1) The New York Times’ Paul Krugman claiming markets would ‘never’ recover from Trump presidency
2) ABC News' Brian Ross’ bungled report on former national security adviser Michael Flynn
3) Casper Planet for being a shit hole.
with the approaching winter storm, a blast of arctic air hammered South Pass in what scientists call an Arctic DownBurst. As of 4:27 a.m. this morning a temperature recording from the NOA weather station on South Pass recorded a record low of 80.3 degrees when the Arctic DownBurst hit, this makes Wyoming the coldest state on the continent! Cars were frozen and shut down but the stranded people were rescued within 45 minutes.
Yellowstone Lava Geyser
For the first time in recorded human history, lava has shot out of one of the geysers in Yellowstone National Park. This following directly after a string of earthquakes in Montana and very rural Wyoming. Geologists, NASA and an oil rig drilling crew are already on scene to document this never recorded event and try to find the cause. We will continue to update you with more information as it surfaces.
President, Thomas S. Monson, of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, better known as Mormons, recently passed on January 2nd, 2018 at the age of 90 years old. This has prompted the Mormons to select a new president, which has also resulted in a shift of the first counselor, and second counselor. The 17th president of the LDS church is now Russell M. Nelson (top picture), a former surgeon.
The Natrona County School District announces they are removing points from all sports to promote equality within sports stating, “Everyone is a winner and everyone should be able to feel like a winner, so all sports events will be just timed and no scores will be kept. This will open the door for others to join sports that don’t meet the physical requirements.”. The new era of sports has arrived.