In the wake of his latest olympic gold medal, Shawn White has tested positive for performance enhancing drugs. The results came back just after the medal ceremony. Performance enhancing drugs have been banned from all olympic events, including snowboarding. Some say it comes as no surprise that a degenerate like White would get caught up in the dope game while others still remain shocked that such an icon could succumb to the temptations of steroids.
Just when you thought is was safe to snack again, Procter and Gamble announce the newest thing in Hipster desserts..
THE FLOOR BUNDT CAKE!
So, put your tide pods down and grab your forks!
Casper resident Eric Shon was using the restroom in his home last week, he sat down doing business as usual. The bathroom fan was full speed, the memes on his social media were top notch that day and he finally conquered level 112 on his favorite candy puzzle game. That’s when things took a turn for the worse, Eric grabbed a few squares of three ply, went four knuckles deep and made one pass, feeling satisfied that he was free of filth he deposited the three ply in the toilet with his fecal deposits.
A derailed coal train North of Douglas, WY is threatening ground water officials say. WYDOT is on the scene along with top government officials trying to decide the next step. The Obama administration is also in route to access the horrible coal spill.
In a interview with Tom Bradshaw he said “This is why we need those big fans, they don’t cause damage and threaten ground water for thousands of local family’s in the Converse County town”
Please avoid the disaster scene while officials clean it up
Transgender Traitor Chelsea Maning Visiting Rigs
Please hit the link below to watch video.
Clean up efforts continue after the EF-3 tornado ripped through rural Casper. Resident Ana L. Ratentive who is also a local degreed weatherman with a local station that gets dozens of viewers a day said, “I have a degree in weather! Trust me, this sno-nado was unreal! The cleanup is very difficult due to it being winter, we lost our blow up Santa Claus in front of our trailer during it.” Many of the towns residents understood the situation while a select few did not, so not only did sno-nado destroy property...it also destroyed feelings.
Denver’s “Smog Mitigation Fan” Project Nears Completion.
After years of controversy, budget over runs and the largest environmental whacko mobilization in history, the fans are up and running.
“This is a great day for the winter skyline” said Mayor Hancock as he cut the ceremonial ribbon. “This has been in the works since John’s (Hickenlooper) first day as Denver mayor.
Its what all Flat Earth believers have been waiting for. SpaceX engineers have confirmed that Earth is truly 100% flat.
Yelowstone announces its first ever, “Running of the buffalo” in wake of the government shutdown. To recoup lost revenue during the shut down, they decided to give everyone a chance to join American version of the running of the bulls, but with the American bison. Park Ranger Dick Fitzwell said, “We were in a meeting trying to come up with ideas to recoup revenue lost in the recent shutdown, one of the other rangers brought up the idea of embracing people interacting with the wild life since the influx of injuries despite rules to not approach the wild life.