18
Feb
2018

MXC is Back!

Posted by Howie Phelt-Ersnatz

Vic Romano  and Kenny Blankenship (pictured), along with the field marshal Captain Tenneal will be returning to the airwaves to bring the most in depth sports reporting to ever grace tv. Unfortunately, field reporter Guy LeDouche is all washed up and lost to the summer breeze.

 

Be sure to check back often for more breaking sports news!

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18
Feb
2018

Your Bachelor Pad Has a New Maid Service!

Posted by Howie Phelt-Ersnatz

Denver’s hottest secret, “Denver Players, Denver Sugar” has announced its rebranding as an out-call maid service with Denver Mayor Michael Hancock as spokes persun.   “We are excited that our Hook- err Maids will be recalled and put back to work after such a long hiatus!”

 

We are very excited about Denver’s return to relevancy!  Aren’t you?

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17
Feb
2018

MMA is MMGay?

Posted by Bob Sayther

A recent study proved a positive correlation between mixed martial arts fighters and homosexuality. The study, conducted by UCLA and Yale scientists, tested 10,000 subjects who have previously, or currently do compete in mixed martial arts. The subjects were given an anonymous questionaire, a verbal interview, and a penile reaction test. The anonymous questionaire showed a strong link between MMA fighters and having sexual relations with other men.

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In the wake of his latest olympic gold medal, Shawn White has tested positive for performance enhancing drugs. The results came back just after the medal ceremony. Performance enhancing drugs have been banned from all olympic events, including snowboarding. Some say it comes as no surprise that a degenerate like White would get caught up in the dope game while others still remain shocked that such an icon could succumb to the temptations of steroids.

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12
Feb
2018

White Man Takes White Poop And Immediately Apologizes

Posted by Peter Christofferson

Casper resident Eric Shon was using the restroom in his home last week, he sat down doing business as usual. The bathroom fan was full speed, the memes on his social media were top notch that day and he finally conquered level 112 on his favorite candy puzzle game. That’s when things took a turn for the worse, Eric grabbed a few squares of three ply, went four knuckles deep and made one pass, feeling satisfied that he was free of filth he deposited the three ply in the toilet with his fecal deposits.

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11
Feb
2018

Coal threatening Ground Water.

Posted by Anonymous (not verified)

A derailed coal train North of Douglas, WY is threatening ground water officials say. WYDOT is on the scene along with top government officials trying to decide the next step. The Obama administration is also in route to access the horrible coal spill. 

In a interview with Tom Bradshaw he said “This is why we need those big fans, they don’t cause damage and threaten ground water for thousands of local family’s in the Converse County town” 

Please avoid the disaster scene while officials clean it up 

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09
Feb
2018

Clean Up Efforts Continue After Sno-Nado

Posted by Peter Christofferson

Clean up efforts continue after the EF-3 tornado ripped through rural Casper. Resident Ana L. Ratentive who is also a local degreed weatherman with a local station that gets dozens of viewers a day said, “I have a degree in weather! Trust me, this sno-nado was unreal! The cleanup is very difficult due to it being winter, we lost our blow up Santa Claus in front of our trailer during it.” Many of the towns residents understood the situation while a select few did not, so not only did sno-nado destroy property...it also destroyed feelings.

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