12
Feb
2018

White Man Takes White Poop And Immediately Apologizes

Posted by Peter Christofferson

Casper resident Eric Shon was using the restroom in his home last week, he sat down doing business as usual. The bathroom fan was full speed, the memes on his social media were top notch that day and he finally conquered level 112 on his favorite candy puzzle game. That’s when things took a turn for the worse, Eric grabbed a few squares of three ply, went four knuckles deep and made one pass, feeling satisfied that he was free of filth he deposited the three ply in the toilet with his fecal deposits.

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11
Feb
2018

Coal threatening Ground Water.

Posted by Stanley Weiss

A derailed coal train North of Douglas, WY is threatening ground water officials say. WYDOT is on the scene along with top government officials trying to decide the next step. The Obama administration is also in route to access the horrible coal spill. 

In a interview with Tom Bradshaw he said “This is why we need those big fans, they don’t cause damage and threaten ground water for thousands of local family’s in the Converse County town” 

Please avoid the disaster scene while officials clean it up 

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09
Feb
2018

Clean Up Efforts Continue After Sno-Nado

Posted by Peter Christofferson

Clean up efforts continue after the EF-3 tornado ripped through rural Casper. Resident Ana L. Ratentive who is also a local degreed weatherman with a local station that gets dozens of viewers a day said, “I have a degree in weather! Trust me, this sno-nado was unreal! The cleanup is very difficult due to it being winter, we lost our blow up Santa Claus in front of our trailer during it.” Many of the towns residents understood the situation while a select few did not, so not only did sno-nado destroy property...it also destroyed feelings.

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09
Feb
2018

Take That, Kansas!

Posted by Howie Phelt-Ersnatz

Denver’s “Smog Mitigation Fan” Project Nears Completion.

After years of controversy, budget over runs and the largest environmental whacko mobilization in history, the fans are up and running. 

“This is a great day for the winter skyline” said Mayor Hancock as he cut the ceremonial ribbon. “This has been in the works since John’s (Hickenlooper) first day as Denver mayor.

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Yelowstone announces its first ever, “Running of the buffalo” in wake of the government shutdown. To recoup lost revenue during the shut down, they decided to give everyone a chance to join American version of the running of the bulls, but with the American bison. Park Ranger Dick Fitzwell said, “We were in a meeting trying to come up with ideas to recoup revenue lost in the recent shutdown, one of the other rangers brought up the idea of embracing people interacting with the wild life since the influx of injuries despite rules to not approach the wild life.

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05
Feb
2018

Road Closed to Alcova: President Trump to Visit

Posted by Stanley Weiss

The main road going into Alcova is closed this evening after a landslide was reported. WDOT said with the amount of surface area affected  it could take weeks, if not months to clean the mess, but maybe a year to fix the road. They should have a better time frame once daylight hits. 

Please be cautious when going to and from the area as crews will be busy. 

Its been told it’s a natural disaster and President Trumpp will be making his way to the Oil City to tour the horrible disaster

 

 

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