Shawn White Tests Positive for Performance Enhancing Drugs

In the wake of his latest olympic gold medal, Shawn White has tested positive for performance enhancing drugs. The results came back just after the medal ceremony. Performance enhancing drugs have been banned from all olympic events, including snowboarding. Some say it comes as no surprise that a degenerate like White would get caught up in the dope game while others still remain shocked that such an icon could succumb to the temptations of steroids.

As of now, White has been able to keep his medal for fear that taking it could set him into a rage of testosterone and Mountain Dew. The Japanese have compared the potential rage to a "Ginger Godzirra" and would prefer to avoid it at all cost.

"I'm really sorry. I just got caught up in the hype. One minute you're on top of the world, the next minute you have a needle full of bull semen in your ass cheek." - Shawn White

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