Mayor Celebrates Columbus Day

Mayor Engen as Columbus
Ronan, MT bridge/roundabout project

Missoula, MT is a progressive city that with a significant population who opposes Columbus Day and, in turn, would like to celebrate Indigenous People's Day. This belief comes from the true story behind Columbus' "discovery" of "America." 

History had forever told that Columbus landed in America and was then followed by Pilgrims and Quakers. The true history is that Columbus never actually made it to America but landed in what is today known as Cuba. The story had been conflagrated after the rise in awareness of Indigenous people's mistreatment by Columbus. This led to him no longer being viewed as a hero, but as a torturous, raping bastard.

That won't stop one man, who has set the bar high for banal actions. A rumor has surfaced that Missoula mayor Jon Engen has announced that in honor of Columbus Day, he drove to Ronan, MT and staked two claims. He's claimed the intersections of Main St and US Highway 93, and 2nd Ave SW and Main St as property of Missoula, MT. He'll be building two roundabouts and a footbridge to span the gap between the two. Infinity +1 Snews is looking into these allegations to confirm whether or not they're true. Our investigators have found plans for the projected construction labeled "Mega Awesome Roundabout Columbus Day Bridge Project X." There was also a rumor that the mayor would be traveling to Cuba to stake claims in some of their intersections as well. If these allegations are true, it'll mark a first in Missoula history. If they're not true, then the humor from his Missoula construction projects and funds hemorrahaging will have to suffice as the satirical side of life cannot compete with the innate humor provided but the actions of our mayor.

More on this as it develops.

 

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