Climate Change a Hoax?

Climate change is a topic that is sensitive to the entire globe. Nations have implemented several measures to help slow the change of the climate and to keep the world how it is now. The United Nations even created a global pact called the Paris Agreement that has set the standard for all countries to pay the U.N. to keep the climate at bay and the temperature down. Some groups say climate change is fake. Others fight and say it isn't. This has been the topic for arguments and debates for years. The world finally has an answer.


The National Meteorological Organization has released the results of a 4000 year study. The study of our blue Earth, codename Project Blue Ball, used advanced scientific calculators placed around the world. Readings were taken by these calculators (Temperature Reading Universal Meteorological Probes... or TRUMPs) every day for the past four millenia and charted. Thirty different locations were picked around the world, and probing these locations is what set Project Blue Ball free. The project was headed by NMO veteran Dick Jackman. Dick's been a part of Project Blue Ball since it hit the drawing board. Dick stated, "it was easy choosing the locations for the probes. Obviously you have to put a probe in the bottom. From there, we just followed the lines drawn on the globe by Marco Polo and we ended up with something that looked like a cross between Frosty the Snowman and Pinhead! It was really a magical time traveling the world meeting people trying to get to the end of Project Blue Ball."


The results came in. Dick's team, known as the Labe Rats, have compiled their results and have an answer. Climate change is not, and has never been a real thing. There was one small spike in temperature somewhere around 1750 B.C., but it then leveled out with minimal peaks and valleys. The world seems to maintain itself at a cool 75 degrees Celsius. This chart directly paralleled the climate activity data. "We can finally put an end to this debate. No more awkward dinners with family. We 100%, objectively found that the world has not changed in 4000 years. Smoke em up, buy diesel, use only disposable silverware. This bad baby we call Earth can take care of herself!"


Dick's team has now set forth on their new adventure to cause the climate to change. They hope to see significant changes in the next decade. "We've started placing mirrors around the globe that reflect the sunlight around the world in some spots, increasing the temperature like a greenhouse. We've appropriately called this The Greenhouse Effect. Other part of the world have gigantic tarps placed over them to cool the area down as much as possible. Change is good. Everything changes. I've changed, you've changed, and the gender of 13 of the Labe Rats has changed. Change isn't a bad thing. We no longer fear change, so we'll now be the catalyst of change."


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