Easter Bunny Spotted Colluding With Russians
After another decline in Easter sales, the Easter Bunny has apparently turned to Russian Collusion to fix the stumbling holiday.
Seen here, with Russian Prime Minister Lavrovolov and Ambassador Kislyakov, the Easter Bunny is no stranger to Russian company. A recent FBI probe has found corroborative evidence the Mr. Bunny has met and spoken with several Russian ambassadors within the past two years.
A series of Tweets by Mr. Bunny has the world puzzled, as he's referenced "damn kids not wanting eggs," "wasting my time pleasi.ng kids and not my wife," and "I bet that fat a$$hole Chris Cringle doesn't deal with this s@#%."
What's in store for the future of Easter? That remains to be determined. The FBI says they'll pull no stops, and money won't be an issue when attempting to get to the bottom of their most sacred of holidays.
More on this as it develops.