Fort Collins Police finally nabbed their prime suspect in Wednesday’s illegal fireworks exhibition. “While no contraband pyrotechnics were found on her person, we are confident we have the right perpetrator. “ a confidential inside source revealed.


DINA “Mother Nature” DIETRICH has been charged with multiple city code violations, flight to avoid arrest, and resisting arrest, claiming to be a “force of nature” that arresting officers would rue the day they met her.


“We see this kind of thing often, especially when serving warrants on north Timberline Rd.” Said Officer M. Riggs speaking on a promise of anonymity. 


Ms. Dietrich is being held without bond pending further investigation.


Remember, as always, all suspects are innocent until proven guilty.  Mayhap next time, “Mother Nature” will be a little less flagrant of her disregard for the authorities in the city’s Safety Management Preparedness office!       Bitch!


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