Have Vending Machine Companies Created the Greatest Concept EVER??
ExpressCo Innovations, the vending machine concept giant that brought you such brilliant bits of convenience like the Bowling Alley Cigarette Vending machine and the Fresh Baked Pizza Stand in a Box has released the latest and greatest of all vending machines! The Mechanical Mom!
You read that right, folks!
Feeding baby on the go has never been easier! No need to scandalize other patrons at your local mall, tattoo parlor or nail salon by whipping out some boob or the ever not discreet “nursing blouse” that tells the world “I must feed baby before I explode”! Just feed the machine and park the crumb cruncher at one of the handy mechanical mammary glands and finish up that tramp stamp, “Like a Boss!”
In a statement released by ExpressCo Head of Development, Willie Ayers, this is the first step in the ultimate in “NannyCap”, the cradle to grave Capitalist inventions that are overprotective while interfering unduly with personal choice.
The National Association of Gals was unavailable for comment on this latest and greatest of modern conveniences.