Coon Rapids Planet

04/22/2018 - 3:21pm

McDaniels  USA has been caught in cohorts with McDaniels Russia. Mrs. B. Ullits was served a super sized serving of freedom.

04/21/2018 - 12:22am


04/20/2018 - 10:18am

*Southwest Airlines Update*


04/19/2018 - 10:28pm



After only 2 days George Bush is already at the altar. He said “ I’ve got needs”. The woman in the picture was unavailable for comment.

04/17/2018 - 3:02pm



04/12/2018 - 5:23pm

High winds in downtown Coon Rapids have 3 families displaced from their home. Jose and Hector and Bill  say they will rebuild. They blame it on the Anoka Tornadoes. Stay tuned for further developments, or don’t. We don’t care. 

04/08/2018 - 8:30pm

Despite the racial tension around the country, Walmart never stops amazing us with low brow prices and advertising

04/07/2018 - 6:41pm

An early spring leads to a poor choice of words for exchange student and local reporter, Lefta Hangin.

04/06/2018 - 11:11am

Extreme budget cuts and school safety force the Coon Rapids school district to take drastic new measures. School superintendent Dr. D. Unce says, “this is the most economical  way to keep our kids safe and these raccoons out of the garbage.”