University Of Wyoming Installing Gender Neutral Mechanical Handjob Machine

The University of Wyoming is installing a gender neutral handjob machine to prevent stress, bullying and unwanted sexual harassment. This is just one of many preventative measures the school is taking in preventing unwanted crimes on campus, the machine is setup in a sound proof room with a relaxing atmosphere and gives either sex a handjob with variable strengths/speeds to lower stress and anger. 

A statement released from the school by Anita Lowvin stated, “We here at the university have noticed a growing trend in school shootings, fights and sexual harassment across the nation, we looked at all options including cry rooms, but being that we are Wyoming, we only cry when 70 mile an hour winds make contact with our eyes in winter, so we went with option B., relieve tensions through a sexual act, relieving all built up stress and anger. We have also installed a nap center in the room, so the students can nap after their stress relief”.

so has the University of Wyoming cracked the code to preventing school shootings and violence in schools? Thinking outside the box is fantastic but when you rub the box, ideas squirt out. Will you be visiting the opening ceremony to view the new installment?

Share Share