California Nets Largest Straw Bust in History

In the early hours of Thursday, swat teams and numerous other agencies stormed a facility in Baldwin Park, CA, involved in manufacturing plastic straws, in California they are the leading cause of cancer and deaths on flat earth.

In a statement from police and two celebrity guests they said, “We have been performing surveillance of the facility for months to gather enough evidence. We sent in two undercover officers posing as small business owners from Wyoming to strike deals on kilos of straws, along with a celebrity to pose as an underground distributor to the black market, he was removed from the facility immediately by their security. This is the largest plastic straw Bust in history and we project being here on site for the next week or two taking inventory on each individual straw. Each straw is a felony and we estimate at least half a million straws are at this location, we won’t stand for this anymore, this is our last straw!”.

This straw Bust is projected to send a message and put a huge dent in the illegal straw market. Law enforcement said that this is just the beginning, we know there are a mass number of plastic straw manufacturers in this country and the world, we are coming for you. This Bust also gave solid ground for California to pass bill 16-A3.5, which will create a worldwide plastic straw police force who will work under the U.N. To bring the ecological terrorists down.

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