13
Sep
2019

A Sad Day in the Hip Hop World

Posted by Howie Phelt-Ersnatz

Hip Hop Legend Eddie Money Passed Away.

It’s a sad day for music fans around the world.   We have lost what can only be described as a pioneer in the hip hop world.

Services will be held in Money’s hometown of Compton, CA at the Pioneers of Music funeral home.  The family is asking that donations to the Kanye West rehabilitation fund be made in lieu of flowers and sympathy cards

You will be missed tonight 
You will be missed tonight
You will be missed tonight
You will be missed tonight

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04
Sep
2019

Ready To Storm Area 51?

Posted by Howie Phelt-Ersnatz

Planning On Storming Area 51?

 

What You Need To Know!

 

The owners of Area 50 and Area 52 are opening up their land to visiting stormers.

 

We at Denver Planet have some tips for you.

 

Area 50 is going to be open for vending, food trucks, and specialty booths.  (Due to extremely high demand, the anal probe booth will be limited to one probing per customer per day.) Bring cash, as cell service for square payments and atm machines will not be available.

 

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27
Jun
2019

The Summer Blockbuster Event of 2019 is Here!

Posted by Howie Phelt-Ersnatz

The most anticipated and incredibly overhyped of the Marvel heroes has finally been put to the silver screen!

We couldn’t be more excited to see Cap’n ‘Murica and his neph-son sidekick Deploraboy chase down the evil Dr. Libtard and his cat Snowflake as they attempts to destroy the world supplies of covfefe and hamberders.  OH, THE HUMANITY!

*SPOILER ALERT!*

Dr. Libtard’s right hand man, The Hamberdgler is behind the mayhem and destruction of the most valuable commodity in the industrialized world.

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08
May
2019

Biden Brush Hits Market

Posted by Bob Sayther
Biden Brush - Infinity +1 Snews

Former Vice President to Barack Obama, Joe Biden, has released a new hair brush known as the "Biden Brush."

Marketed towards women and mostly young girls, the Biden Brush offers the ability to tame your worst tangles while getting the extra attention and unwanted comfort you didn't know you needed. The Biden Brush will hit store shelves late Q2 in 2019 and all proceeds will go to help Joe Biden in his bit for the Presidential Race in 2020.

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08
May
2019

Game of Thrones Image Leaked

Posted by Bob Sayther
Game of Thrones enters McDonald's - Infinity +1 Snews

In the wake of a brutal start to their final season, the cast and crew of Game of Thrones has kept everything locked down. Rumors of the season leaking online were squashed early on leaving pirates searching for a treasure that didn't exist. We all have to wait for the next episode to find out what happens. Until now.

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07
May
2019

Easter Bunny Spotted Colluding With Russians

Posted by Bob Sayther
Easter Bunny Colluding With Russians - Infinity +1 Snews

After another decline in Easter sales, the Easter Bunny has apparently turned to Russian Collusion to fix the stumbling holiday. 

Seen here, with Russian Prime Minister Lavrovolov and Ambassador Kislyakov, the Easter Bunny is no stranger to Russian company. A recent FBI probe has found corroborative evidence the Mr. Bunny has met and spoken with several Russian ambassadors within the past two years.

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07
May
2019

Invasive Species Spreads to North Platte in Wyoming

Posted by Peter Christopherson
Grey Unclcouzin Invasive Species - Infinity +1 Snews

First Invasive Species Caught In North Platte In 7 Years The Southern Grey Unclcouzin Fish

Early Thursday morning, fisherman Joe Bob was out fishing the North Platte in Mills when he noticed a strange fish swimming in circles.

Joe said in a statement, "I done noticed a pickular fish just swamming in circles, I threw everything I had at it, and nothing, so I reached in my lunch bag and grabbed a piece of boudin, threw it on that their hook and whamo! Dang fish went all chromosomes on me! Got it in da net and was shook bud."

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07
May
2019

Nazi Tree Spotted Making Racist Hand Gesture

Posted by Bob Sayther
Nazi Tree - Infinity +1 Snews

A recent trip to the Joshua Tree National Park has shocked one family into protests. The Steinem family was enjoying a family road trip when a they spotted the tree, now dubbed as the "Nazi Tree." 

"We were having a great trip. My oldest child, Dandelion-starseed, was humming a wonderful tune about freedom of the soul," said Mothersoul Steinem. My partner, who now goes by ObamaHeart, calmly pointed out our biggest fear. Nature has been swayed by the Alt-Right and now National Parks aren't even safe to avoid persecution."

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21
Apr
2019

Colorado’s Governor Unveils New State Flag Design!

Posted by Howie Phelt-Ersnatz

 

Governor Polis unveiled Colorado’s new official state flag Friday.

“We could not be more excited about the new flag! Nothing represents my ideology and direction we are taking Colorado more.” Comrade Polis said in a statement released by the Polis Bureau. 

The good people of Colorado were unavailable for comment.

Not to be out-Californiaed, Governor Newsom   Announced a newly designed flag representing California 

Both are pictured below.

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02
Apr
2019

Casper’s 2nd Annual Running With The Elk A Success

Posted by Peter Christopherson

Casper’s 2nd annual running with the elk event was another success! This years injuries were down to 75%, which is lower than last years 89%. 200 head of elk were let loose on the streets of Casper around 7:30 am while people were heading to work, forcing 99% of the people walking to work and kids at school bus stops participants.

This years winner was a legal gun owner who declined to be interviewed, he did not receive one injury and harvested 102 elk and one person. What will you be doing for next years running with the elk?

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